It Has Been a Few Weeks

I haven't written much here over the last few weeks. I want to be honest with you. Since late February, I've been discouraged. Very discouraged.

I've been facing gale-force opposition in most areas of my life. To strengthen me, my dear wife made me a small poster with these words from the apostle Paul:

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8,9).

So through this time, I have felt the closeness of my Heavenly Father, and He has inspired kind friends to support our family without them really knowing what is going on. It has been a great comfort.

I have learned many lessons over the last month. One has come home more keenly than others. It is this: That there will be times when even though you are doing everything in your power to serve the Lord and to work as hard as you possibly can to fulfill all of your duties at home, church and work, blessings can be withheld for a season as a trial of your faith.

The Lord wants to you to know where you come down when the blessings and grace you desperately need are not immediately at hand.

I know we bring many trials upon ourselves, often without knowing how or why. And so we wait and pray and work and seek to understand so we can change what you need to change.

Nonetheless, I feel comforted.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning (Psalms 30:5).

The light of hope has never gone out, no matter what has happened. It never will. We can refuse to see it shining, but it never goes out.

Meaningful Relationships from "Music and the Spoken Word"

"The weather began to change, and a man felt inclined to plant something outside in the cold earth. After a hard winter of dark skies and icy storms, the prospect of digging in the ground warmed his heart. So he did some homework, researched the best tree for his chosen spot, and went to see an expert.

"The master gardener had this counsel: 'Don’t plant a hundred-dollar tree in a ten-dollar hole! The roots of the tree,' he explained, 'must have room to expand and to absorb the nutrients from the soil. Also, the tree must be planted deep enough so that the roots can move into the soil and give the plant stability. If it’s planted right, you can expect it will grow into a beautiful tree and last a long time.' (See Carlos E. Asay, Family Pecan Trees: Planting a Legacy of Faith at Home [1992], 228.)

"Good advice—not just for planting trees but also for building relationships. Both trees and relationships grow best in an environment that has been carefully prepared and is constantly nurtured. Occasionally a seed may fall on uncultivated soil and spring up as a sapling, but such trees rarely last long enough to bear fruit. Likewise, lasting relationships don’t just happen. They must be fostered by love and attention, cultivated by care and concern, and fed by kindness and generosity. It doesn’t happen in one day of intensive attention; it happens over time, in countless small moments, as gradually as a tree grows.

"Meaningful relationships are worth more than hundred-dollar trees, and they deserve all the time, effort, and energy they need to become strong and beautiful. Then, once the roots are well established, such relationships can continue to grow—even under difficult circumstances. Trust and understanding will nurture the relationship, and eventually, the flowers of love will blossom and bear sweet fruit."

—Lloyd D. Newell

Music and the Spoken Word

March 7, 2010

A Hymn for Sunday Morning

For Tony

Where are you, Lord? Where is home?
Do I have to walk this narrow road alone?

Where is peace, then? Where is rest?
I hope you know I've done my very best.

There's a pasture far away.
It's the place I long to stay.

It's as green there as sky is blue.
It's where all my sorrows will be swallowed up in You,

Where my dad and my son will
Shine as bright as the setting of the sun.

Here I am, Lord. Here I be,
Until you've wrenched every broke prayer from me.

And when I'm with you in the sky, there
I'll know all the reasons why.

—Michael Fitzgerald

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Worth Waiting For

I had a special opportunity to witness the sealing of a couple in the Manti temple this morning. I have been visiting for about four years with the sister who was sealed. We have talked many times about the possibilities of finding a husband. After many years of searching, she finally found him and after a wonderful courtship,the two of them were sealed today—Sealing Room 6 which was an apartment where President Daniel H. Wells actually lived while he was the first president of the Manti temple (1888–1891).

I am so happy for them I could bust buttons. It seems like relationships that involve patience and self-discipline over a long period of time have more staying power. It is so important to keep our hopes and standards fixed as high as we can.

I loved the counsel of the sealer, Archie Brugger. He had some excellent advice which I could stand to hear. For example, he described marriage as the most trying and rewarding do-it-yourself project imaginable, and said if your marriage fails it often has to do with your own personal issues, not someone elses.

I am grateful to see a long hoped for dream come to life before my very eyes, all a result of keeping covenants through thick and thin, being immovable on standards, and holding onto the anchor chain of faith while neck deep in the water.

Consider Your Ways

Yesterday morning, while waiting to do some work at the temple, I read a chapter from the Old Testament.

Many years after the children of Israel had been carried away captive to Babylon, a man named Zerubbabel was appointed by the Persian king Darius to be a governor of the Jews in Jerusalem. The prophet Haggai came to him with the word of the Lord—he had been neglecting his duty to rebuild Solomon's temple.

Then came the word of the Lord by Haggai the prophet, saying, Is it time for you, O ye, to dwell in your cieled [paneled] houses, and this house [the House of the Lord] lie waste? Now therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes. Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways. —Haggai 1:3–7

The Lord "stirred up the spirit" of the covenant people in Jerusalem to begin or resume their work on the House of the Lord. They started working on the temple within a matter of weeks.

And the Lord stirred up the spirit of Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and the spirit of Joshua the son of Josedech, the high priest, and the spirit of all the remnant of the people; and they came and did work in the house of the Lord of hosts, their God. —Haggai 1:14

Too often, when troubles arise in a home, it almost always coincides with neglect of tithing and temple service. We often wonder why there is not enough—not enough money, not enough time, not enough love—when it seems as though our wages are put in "a bag with holes."

Let me suggest to you once again the benefits of temple worship, and more regular, more meaningful devotion to the ordinances of the House of God. You will feel closer to the Lord. You will feel closer to your spouse and children. You will be more peaceful. Answers to your prayers will come more readily. You will complain less and, therefore, have less to complain about. Your path will become clear to you. You won't feel lost. You will know what to do.  You will have the strength to resist temptation. You will turn away from contention. You will see and feel the Lord's protection.

Consider your ways. I have, and feel to repent. Patch the holes in your bag. Take responsibility for your temple attendance. Let the Lord find you in His house often, waiting on his grace. You will be so happy you did.

What I Wish Every Ward Member Would Do

This is a talk I gave at the priesthood leadership session of stake conference yesterday afternoon, February 13, 2010.

Brethren, it is an honor to address you this afternoon. The theme of my talk comes from Proverbs 10:17:

“He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth.”

President Clark invited me to focus on an aspect of refusing reproof: “What I Wish Every Ward Member Would Do to Repent Now.”

As a bishop, my wish is that we would be more honest with ourselves, take responsibility for our choices, be truly humble, and have a willing heart.

It is clear that the greatest single deterrent to repentance is pride. We all have it to a degree.

Pride is spiritual blindness and self-deception. It is a high wall that blocks our vision, keeping us from seeing the truth about ourselves and others. Some of the hallmarks of pride are anger, blame, resistance, and denial, all of which keep us from changing and growing. Pride is also the fundamental and ever-present reason behind human misery, that which we bring on others and most assuredly on ourselves.

Pride is the steroid to which the natural man is addicted.

This reminds me of another verse found in Proverbs, chapter 30, verse 20:

“Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.”

Just yesterday a ward member told me of her sister who has in recent weeks been arrested four times, twice on second degree felony charges. The member visited her sister, who, in shackles and an orange jump suit, decried the errors of the law and those who enforce it, denying wrongdoing.

Pride is epidemic. Allow me to address several of the most prominent symptoms of this disease and the prescriptions we can take to overcome those symptoms.

Symptom/Prescription: Anger vs. Personal Responsibility

First, pride is the root of contention, as we also read in Proverbs:

“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom” (Proverbs 13:10).

Pride is founded on the spirit of contention. This spirit is the cause of anger, hatred, conflict and war.  One of the first things the Savior taught when he visited this continent after His resurrection was that “he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another” (3 Nephi 11:28).

I believe it is impossible to feel anger without first assigning blame to some person or some thing outside of ourselves. While we at times blame situations and circumstances for our troubles, it is the act of blaming another person that fuels most of our anger. Anger often points a finger from the windows of the great and spacious building (see 1 Nephi 8:27). In Ecclesiastes, the Preacher said, “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).  

If we take personal responsibility for the situations that always arise from our own choices, anger begins to fade and blame starts to disappear. You and I only have one real enemy in this world, and we each get a good look at him every time we stand in front of the bathroom mirror.

Personal responsibility is always preceded by private reflection. Once we begin seeing ourselves as we really are (see Jacob 4:13), we can begin to regain our footing on the strait and narrow path and our grip on the iron rod.

Ready forgiveness of others and of self indicates a strong faith in the atonement of Christ and is an antidote to anger and contention. However, a lack of forgiveness of others and self is an indication of a lack of faith. If we forgive our neighbor, we won’t cling to blame, and if we don’t cling to blame, we cannot hold onto our anger for very long.

Forgiveness it seems is more for the forgiver than for the forgiven. It’s a way of setting ourselves free. It is an act of faith, for when we forgive, we say, in effect, that God is in charge of collecting a debt that we can never collect. He will most certainly collect on that debt in His own way and on His own terms.

Symptom/Prescription: Resistance vs. Humility

In Shakespeare’s Much Ado about Northing, Benedick quips, “Happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending.” (Act II, Scene III.) It requires humility to see our detractions or faults.

After we begin to take personal responsibility, and set aside blame as a lifestyle, our true image begins to be reflected back to us. Through our humility and faith, we see more clearly our imperfections, and we have hope that with the Lord’s help we can do something about them, something more satisfying than merely covering them up.

In 2 Nephi chapter 2 verses 6 and 7, Father Lehi reminds us that:

“...Redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth. Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered” (2 Nephi 2:6–7).

Only when we come before Him broken, battered and truly humbled can we hope to have Him answer the ends of the law in our behalf.

When we are sincerely humble, we no longer need to put up resistance or deny the truth, no more must we hide from ourselves and attempt to hide from God. The natural man, among whose quick-draw emotions are shame and embarrassment, is put out the back door. We can see a new, clear path, and a divine Source of strength to tread that path alone no longer.

In Mosiah 3:19 we read:

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

When we take on personal responsibility and become more humble, our hearts become more pliable and willing. The willing heart finds peace while the unwilling heart is full of turmoil as it points and blames, always running away from itself as well as from the approaching footsteps of God or His true servants.

This brings to mind a final proverb:

“The wicked flee when no man pursueth; but the righteous are bold as a lion” (Proverbs 28:1).

Brethren, let us turn aside from the natural man. Let us cool the fever of pride with our humility, let us sprint away from the great and spacious building before it falls upon us, and let us offer to the Lord our willing, subdued hearts instead of resistance and denial. By this we will most assuredly find repentance and, ultimately, forgiveness and peace.

I testify that these things are true and I leave my witness with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Another Grandson!

One week and 11 hours after our grandson Kimball was born, we had another one born in Texas on Wednesday morning. His name is Ian Joseph. He was 9 lbs. 1 oz. and 20½ inches long. And boy, is he a cute guy!

His dad said he looked like he was four weeks old the day he was born! Today we heard a report that he was lifting up his head. I guess this one was pretty well baked before he was born.

I was tempted to pile in the car and drive down there. It would have totally been worth the drive. If I didn't have a speaking assignment today, I just might have done it. My wife gets to go down next week.

Ian, I can't wait to hold you!