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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Three Words

My wife and I attended a sealing at the Bountiful Temple today. The sealer repeated a question to the couple that he once heard at a sealing in the Salt Lake Temple. The sealer today asked the couple:

"What are the three most important words you can say to each other every day?"

Of course, I thought those words would be "I love you." And that's what the groom said. The sealer congratulated him on his guess, but said that is not what he was looking for.

I turned to my wife and whispered, "I am sorry?" That was my private guess which also proved incorrect.

Hmmmmm.

Then the sealer revealed the three magic words which, in his sage wisdom, should be repeated between a couple every day. The words were: "Perhaps you're right."

He went on to explain that that phrase was a great way to make a shift away from a negative focus to a positive one—a bomb defuser. Think about it: how much negative energy enters into a conversation when you insist on being right and that the other person is wrong?

"Perhaps you're right." That is a great bit of wisdom. I appreciated hearing it. (But I still think "I love you" is pretty important.)

3 comments:

Heather said...

About 13 years ago my husband learned this while he was bishop. It helped him diffuse many tense situations between ward members and get people to a place where they would be willing to listen to each other. He started using those words at home and suddenly I started to feel like he really was listening. In turn, I learned to be quiet and listen also. In addition to "I love you," I agree, "Perhaps you're right" is a definite marriage builder.

Patty Ann said...

What a wonderful loving way to communicate! It is important to realize that everyone occasionally is right and needs to be right. It is so disheartening to feel like you are wrong all the time. Thank you for sharing three very powerful words for each of us to use!

Cristi said...

Perhaps. You're. Right. :-)