Saturday, December 1, 2012

Why We Moved

We moved last month from Mapleton to Salt Lake City. It was a difficult but logical choice. But sometimes a sensible, practical choice is a hard and painful one as well.

Here is the practical side.

First of all, I have, for almost two years, spent 60 to 80 hours commuting to work each month. I needed to convert that time into family time and a bit of it to work time. (My current job is the most demanding of my career.) My commute is now all of seven minutes, on foot—sometimes five minutes, when I hit the crosswalk right.

Secondly, my health is not all that great, still. It is a great comfort, and convenience, to be close to our domicile and my wife. Sometimes the pain comes on suddenly, and it is much better to be a few minutes from home rather than 60 miles away.

Lastly, simplification. Our lives, now on a smaller scale, are much simpler. We are living in an apartment for the first time since 1983. We have only one car. We have no yard. I won't be shoveling any snow this winter. We live four minutes away from a grocery store. In fact, we can get to most of the places we need to go by foot or rail.

But I miss our old ward and the people I love there. I miss our kind neighbors. I miss seeing our horses out the front window. I miss our chickens. I miss our dog that we had to put down last winter. I miss my old, rattle-trap pickup. I miss the quiet of the country. I miss Maple Mountain.

If we were financially and physically able, I would move back. That is at the heart of this. We tried for many months to figure out a way to buy a house. Nothing worked. Finally, the idea of a practical move dawned on us and it has worked out well, except for the heartbreak.

But. But.

My dream is to own a home on land. To own horses and cattle and chickens again. To have a barn and a shop and a pickup and a four-horse trailer. To live in a wide, open space.

My life is not my own any longer. It doesn't feel like it, anyway. It seems like it belongs to a different purpose. As much as I feel like I've lost control, I also feel a need to consecrate everything I have. I don't know where it will take me.

But I want to go home.

5 comments:

  1. Awww. I know the feeling. I REALLY know the feeling. I hope you can too. And us too. I'm going to blogging our move soon too.

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  2. Moving is just plain tough---you can't make it any different or what it's not. You have fellow travelers in Dale and I. We have lived in Bend for three and a half years and have moved five times; like you no moving company and not always because we wanted. So I know your mindset and how it turns your life upside down. I would Iike my own house again as well, but I am pretty much resigned to being required to live this way. I find I have to ground myself by knowing I am not alone and that it is a beautiful world and I am still a part of it. Remembering that our Savior, Jesus Christ had no place to lay his head causes me to be incredibly thankful that I do. I can see you both being of much service where you are. City people, it seems to me, need it more than most because it is in a more impersonal area and it seems harder to find those who care. There is always some one on a street corner or hidden in your ward that needs you and Cristi's magic---some simple gestures that have the potential to change a life. We struggle with some of the same issues you do and we wish you godspeed in feeling a sense of peace and contentment :)

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  3. And you are missed. But I know the Lord has something in store for you both and you will be blessed. Just watch for it.

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